This was the moment I had quietly stepped into the shower. Quietly turned on the water to the hottest I could handle. I was quietly choosing the perfect pandora channel with the perfect song (hence the reason for my phone in my hand at the time. I should also point out that it is typical in FL bathrooms to have a window with a nice ledge in the showers where said phone lays during my relaxing showers). A quiet (see the theme) solitude minute went by where it was just about ME. It felt WONDERFUL! Then, not even another minute passed and I heard a little voice saying “I wanna get in with mommy”. Exit quiet. My initial thought was,
“How did she know I was in here? I was quiet!!! I even had her occupied before I attempted this feat! Ugh! I sure would like some time where I can have all the drops from the shower head hitting just me! And the temperature is perfect, but too hot for her. Now I’ll have to turn the water down!!” [insert foot stomp and eye roll]
Anyone know what I am talking about?
The truth is though, and the reason I snapped the picture, was because I didn’t want to forget what it was like to have these moments (disclaimer: this wasn’t one of those days where I was needing a moment away because I felt like I was gonna lose it. I will be posting on that soon ). See just a little over 3 years ago exactly I was waiting for this moment right here, or well, moments just like this. I was pleading with God to answer my prayers for another little one. My two oldest were doing what they do, growing up, and I missed so desperately the little moments like this. I knew my time with them was NOT by any means almost finished, in fact just the opposite on many levels, but lets face it, it would be a little weird if my then 10 year old son were asking to get in the shower with me (He’s going to feel uncomfortable just reading that sentence). For 8 years I had prayed for this little girl that stood at my shower begging me to spend more time with her. There were moments I cried asking God why he had not answered me. There were times, I am not going to lie, where I was angry at God for giving me this desire and not fulfilling it. There were even a few days I thought maybe I was crazy for even asking for something this big. Did you ever feel like you were created for something and then maybe you were reading the entire situation completely wrong. That was me in a nutshell.
Then God did something amazing, for me. He answered that prayer. He gave me just what I prayed for. Never in all of my life had I personally witnessed God loving me so much (obviously there was a lot that went into those 8 years). Fast forward 3 years later. Why in this precious minute of time should I complain about a little interruption, especially one that I prayed so hard for? The bible is full of reminders of how fleeting our lives are.
“Man is like a mere breath, his days are like a passing shadow.” -Psalm 144:4
I wonder how many other times I have prayed for something and then after a while I lose sight of its importance. If I beg God for something and then time passes and well, I got it and its value just isn’t the same as it was when I asked for it. I don’t want to ask our creator for something EVER and forget what it meant in that same moment he answered my request.
I have had a taste of the moments without these little interruptions, and while some things about the kids getting older are wonderful, others are simply missed. I know this time will soon again pass and I want to remember the times where life interrupted me for more time with my kids. One day when I take a shower its gonna look like this:
When it does, I hope I can say that I took every opportunity to appreciate what God has given me.
***In reading this, please understand that I am not saying you should not have your alone time or that I am saying you should always invite your toddler into shower time. I am not. I shower alone quite frequently and I turn the water way too hot and I stay in there until the hot water runs out. Often times I emerge from the shower and the above toddler has permanent markered my couch (truth), or dumped goldfish all over the floor, or my 11 year old has stained her carpet with finger nail polish…yadayadayadayada. These are examples of why it is very important to have your alone time. I was simply using this one day as a good reminder for me to remember and be thankful for life’s interruptions.