I was looking through the blogs that I had posted and realized that I have a lot of Cayden and not so many about my wonderful son. I could try to analyze the reasons why. Many times, Cobe flies under the radar. His interests are not always ones I can relate to but I see his daddy’s pride come out, so I know they are important.
When we found out we were pregnant with Cobe we had only been married 3 months. I really had no idea I was pregnant, but was late so when I went to get groceries I slipped a pregnancy test in the cart so as to have proof when Tim asked why I was “late”. Little did I know that the proof would be opposite of what I had hoped or wanted for the time. Tim was not the first to know of my pregnancy. He was at a youth event and he only had a pager. So I called someone who was experienced in taking pregnancy tests, my twin sister Tonee. I asked her what two lines meant and if it could be wrong, or more importantly how often they are wrong. She informed me it was pretty hard to get a false positive. Then I got a second test and it too was positive. I was pretty sure that I was pregnant. Tim came home not long after. I had been tired, and not feeling the greatest and the night before I had dumped on him this big emotional binge of tears and stories that made no sense. So when I showed him how I had cleaned and done the laundry (those of you who know Tim would understand how much the cleaning was an accomplishment) while crying over the pan of hamburger helper I had so earlier been excited about, he just assumed I was having another melt down. I cried through and mumbled these words.
I took a pregnancy test and it was positive
To which he replied
I seriously don’t think he understood me, but he could have been in slight shock. So I had to repeat the words I had so long dreaded to speak to him. He looked at me and smiled and he said
I am gonna be a daddy!
NOT what I thought he was going to say, but before I had time to think about it, he swooped me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom, and I think he just held me smiling while I cried. After my second emotional release, I wanted to tell my mom and dad. So we drove late over to their house and sat with them. I think they were in bed watching TV and my little sister was reading at the foot of their bed. We came up with a creative way to mention that they were having another grandkid. They were so thrilled. It was bitter sweet, since at this time they knew that yet another grandkid would grow up away from them, since we had recently made the decision to move to GA. Cobe’s pregnancy was pretty normal. We moved when I was nearly 6 months pregnant and a few weeks before had learned that we were having a son. All four grandparents were in the room when we found out what we would be having, and the men cheered while the women sulked. I had thoughts flooding my mind how I was going to raise a boy…mostly at first dealing with how diaper changes, to teaching him how to pee in the toilette and aim right because there is no way I am spending a lifetime cleaning that up (so far we’ve done good!), and now most recently wondering how I can raise a man to love God and how I can protect his head and heart from all this world throws at him. I had so wanted to be the first to have a daughter, but it was not my time. That day we went and got Cobe his first Jordan’s and I could see that my husband was going to have his dream child.
Cobe was born in August. There was no family there. He came two weeks early. His arrival was scary. His heart rate was dropping and I had to be rushed for an emergency c-section, to which Tim was convinced someone was dying. I don’t remember holding Cobe for the first time but I remember being so thankful that he was okay. I remember when Tim’s parents got to the hospital after his arrival they asked if the birthing experience was everything I dreamed of, and I was for sure it wasn’t. I guess his arrival was a precursor to his life. Full of eventful moments where I would have to be constantly reminded that this child was not my own but God’s and He was the one that was going to protect him through the obstacles we faced with Cobe. The problems were too big for us alone.
Cobe was sick when he was little. Whenever we traveled we ended up in the emergency room. He was a big boy with a big head, and I was told thankfully for that reason he was not going to be admitted to the hospital when he was diagnosed with a serious case of RSV. When he was almost one we realized he had an eye condition. When he was a little over 1 he was sent into surgery for tubes (what an amazing relief for him). When he was almost two we realized he was deaf in one ear, and when he was almost two and a half he had many tests to declare that he had a serious case of Acid Reflux. Often it was hard to tell how sick he was because he just was always content.
Throughout Cobe’s life he has been his daddy’s joy and his mommy’s love…and his sister’s protector! He was only 6 weeks old when he sat perfectly still and quiet and ALERT in Tim’s arms watching his first Laker’s game. His first word was ball and to his daddy and Boppa’s joy he has ALWAYS wanted to play basketball. As soon as he could reach my hair he started to play with it during bottle feedings and to this day if he is tired he will reach for my hair. He was a late bloomer on a lot of things, mostly because of his large head 🙂 and his ear problems. He was not independent and is still not, always needing to be rocked to sleep and would ALWAYS fall asleep when I sang “Baby Mine” from Dumbo. He loved Elephants and Giraffe’s. I lost him at the zoo before he turned 2 because when I turned my head he took off. I frantically ran all through the zoo searching for him to find him sitting there watching what he called “Fee’s”, but only those close to him knew he was referring to elephants. We could have sat there all day.
When he saw Cayden for the first time, he kissed her and referred to her for the next two years as bee-bee (baby) and he has always loved and protected her. He held her hand the entire ride during her homecoming from the hospital, while falling asleep, so excited that there was going to be someone else sitting with him for the rest of his childhood in the back seat. One day I brought her to his Sunday School class for some of the kids to meet and hold her and he sat there for a good 10 minutes holding her refusing to let anyone but him have that experience. When he needed to he stuck up for her and when any boy would try to kiss her he would tell them
…If you don’t stop I am going to punch you in the face
Cobe is a loyal friend and considers his very best friend to be Jaron Cole who he met when he was only 1 week old and Jaron just a couple of hours old. He gets attatched to people who are important to him, that is why when I picked him up from Jaron’s house a few weeks back he cried and said
I am sure going to miss Jaron. No one else is just like Jaron
Tim once told me that I am a good friend because I make people feel important. Cobe is just like that. He finds what is important to you and makes sure you know about it whenever it is around.
He values tradition and is the first to get excited about a Christmas song or decorations in the store. He is always 100 percent by my side on wanting to drag the Christmas stuff out early or the one to see the many traditions I have set unfold.
Today Cobe is still so many of those things that he has always been. Sometimes I look at him and think God is going to do something incredible with him, because there are times when he is an old soul in a child’s body and he just sees things that others cannot his age.
He is so much like me. I have to say I love it and hate it. He cares for people and is extra sensitive most of the time. This year Cobe has really started to grow up. He is starting to slightly test me again. He still loves basketball (I mean really LOVES basketball). He is finally making some new friends that he will probably have for life. He is a pleaser and hates to disappoint. He sometimes gives up when he feels like he fails or is not good enough. He can drive me absolutely insane because like me he is forgetful, and unfocused. He has good intentions but sometimes cannot follow through. He gets frustrated when he tries to be understood, but everyone thinks he is arguing. He says quotes that I said when I was little and in him sometimes I see me so much. Sometimes I feel bad for him :). He hates HATES HATES writing scentences and it is close to death for him when you tell him he cannot play video games. For the first time he found a friend who is a girl, who is a little more important than a friend and I am DYING. He blushes when I say her name and he picked one of the prettiest girls in the class with soft hair (an important quality because he says his wife will have hair he can play with like mine). He gets a little embarrassed of me, but he still kisses me in public. He loves his teacher! He thinks she really understands him and he is pretty sure he knows who is going to get married to each other in his class. He annoys me when he has a thought and he really wants to put it to action because sometimes it just is not going to happen but like me he is a dreamer. He has great trust for us and I can see him taking on responsibility to protect his mind for his future because he wants to grow up and be just like his daddy, a good man, father, husband, and a “good basketball player”(this is because Tim told him he probably could have made the NBA had he not met me-hahaha). He is not afraid to have his own style, and he is convinced it is cool to wear a fedora hat. He loves Michael Jackson and tries to dance like him. He really thinks he will be famous one day and he doesn’t know what he wants to do if basketball doesn’t pan out :).
When I look at Cobe’s life in 9 years I am overwhelmed. I cannot believe that I was chosen to love him and raise him. This little boy that I once rocked and still sing too is growing up into a mini man! He is almost as tall as me. It just seems like I have blinked and there he was almost staring at me in the face. Where did this time go?
I guess this has ended up being my Ode to Cobe. I don’t often write of him, but maybe because he doesn’t always have one moment that defines him, but several little moments that make him special. He is just Cobe, simple not always complicated, but so very special.